Letter to Lourdes

1/24/03 10:59:10 PM




Dear Bestfriend Lourdes,


I do not know if it is forgivable for grown-ups not to answer letters. When I was younger, I used to write a lot you know. But as you grow up (and ugh! – grow old), you tend to have so many things to attend to… I shied away from saying “important things” for they are not really important at times, and also from “getting busy” because these words seem to mean that I’m always doing positive things all the time. Anyway, it’s almost 11 now and I’m just waiting for the time of my baby’s feeding (gosh I have to write of these stuffs now…), and I have mastered “Capitalism” (a cd rom game), plus there are no movies worth watching… and finally, they won’t show “Passenger Seat” on MTV and MYX, so here goes my letter… Does this sound na parang last na sa priority list ang pag-answer? Hindi ah, yun lang ang mga usual ko na ginagawa sa gabi.

I used to think that being 30 something means being old and gray, and boring and (please add any negative word here)… and I know you think that way too. When I was your age, I would say to myself, that ah, to be young and dynamic – this is life. I would shun at the so-called age and wisdom of Socrates. My brother referred to me then as Peter Pan, who never grew old. But these things are only for the soul. Only the soul stays young forever. From without, the world views you as the adult male who teaches Math and useless Trigonometry (which you would not use in life anyway)… which reminds me of an essay of a certain bright individual from third year…. But from within, you stay young forever, as a diamond, catching more and more appreciated value over time.

If I were to live my life over, I’d do the same things (except for the bad things I did)… marry the same woman God gave me, and walk the same streets, shake the same hands, smile to the same people… trying to make their loads a little lighter. When I was in fifth grade, the teacher asked us all, “What is your ambition in life?” and I went up in front, reading an essay which I proudly did the night before. “I want to touch many people”. I did not know the full force of those words back then. But then, since they laughed at me back then – mind you, all of them, reaching their hands to me, saying “Go ahead Atento, touch me now…” those words became a mission to me. I went on with life trying to prove them wrong, being the contrarian that I am.

I do not know if I was successful in doing the touching business to many people, though I certainly touched some few people if you understand what I mean. Girl people. You know. But not so much of course, this might not pass for PG-16. But one thing is for sure. I tried my best. I did and I always wake up every day of my life trying to touch the world to come, even by the simple gestures of hello and a smile. And why am I writing this to you? Because I wanted you to do the same. Touch the lives of as many people as you can. You need not quote always from the Book, you know. But you could always do something to make their lives easier. And then, they will realize that you are living the Book. You are being an example, leading a good life. And they will understand that on your own, you cannot do it. Inspired by you, they will then do the same, and the world will be a lot better. Yes, even with a single smile. And it’s as if, they read a thousand words.

“It’s not how long we held each other’s hands… what matters is, how well we loved each other…. It’s not how far we travel on our way, but what we found to stay…. It’s not the spring (that) you see, but all the shades of green…” All these words have meaning to me. They seem to tell you that the length of one’s life is not what makes it worthwhile. It’s the little things, the very little moments that you spend enriching another’s life that counts a lot. In the night sky, you could see millions of stars. And they have been there all our lives. But when a shooting star streaks the sky, it illuminates the night sky. And though it’s only for a single moment, the sky glows by its light. And all the other stars just have to watch. All my life, I wanted to be like that shooting star. And I want you to be the same. Do not live a mediocre life. Do not live a meaningless life. Do not live an ordinary life. Live your life extraordinarily. Live each day as if it’s going to be your last. So that the Lord in His Mercy, might pick us up, tattered pieces as we are, and make us all worthy of being with Him forever. When the world looks up at us, at you, it will see you, if only for a while. But your memory will last a lifetime. And the world will know that they will never see anyone like you ever. And even for a second, half a second, the great night sky will envy your light.

Oops. Am I sounding like I’m going to die? Anyway, everyone will, in time. E di, me babasahin ka pag dumating yung time na yun. Mga thirty years pa ulit ha? He he. Sabihin mo ke Best Friend Lord natin, gusto ko pa maging billionaire. Malakas ka don eh.

At saka yung ibang mga bagay2x na you are experiencing right now… just take it easy. Gayahin mo si Ira, laging cool yun. Part of growing up yan. It’s God’s way to educate you and make you stronger. I know you will graduate in school with honors. And I am much more sure that you will graduate in life with the highest honors. You can make it. You have the making of a great person. Just take it easy and avoid being mushy. Don’t gaya me there. Ako naman sa sulat lang mushy, saka pag umiinom at nagkaka-kwentuhan. Pero now no more. Dati oo. Kaya nga DreamShadow ang code name ko nun eh. It’s an OP thing back then. Para bang, anino lang walang pumapansin. O di ba mushy din? Pero ngayon, no more.

At, last na lang, di mo kelangan sumagot ha? Baka naman gumawa ka ng nobela at paiyakin mo pa ako. At saka, baka masagot ko pa yon eh after twenty years na naman. Sige ka.

O siya, wag ka sisimangot at lalo kang nagiging singkit. Hehe. At saka, joke lang yung ke Carlo ha? Hayaan mo at ihahanap kita ng bagong ka-love team. Hmmmmn, sino kaya? Si Niño, ok sa iyo? O si Montines? Joke. Saka mo na isipin pala yan at bata ka pa naman. Sa college na.

O sige na. Last na talaga ito. Ingat.


All the love,

Bestfriend
1/24/03 11:40:26 PM